10. Nickleback- Rockstar
I actually had a Kate Nash song here, but Ant told me that 3 Kate Nash tracks was too much. And anyway, he says he hates this song more than I hate all 3 Kate Nash songs put together. And true enough, his ears did literally start to BLEED when he played it for me.9. Just Jack- Starz in their eyes. So just who the fuck is Just Jack? I'll tell you. He's a patronising twat who believes his own fame and fortune is somehow legitimate while the short lived fame of the sad bastards on Pop Idol and Fame Academy is not. Our stalwart trooper'Just Jack' can apparently cope with the rigors and tribulations that fame brings, unlike his unfortunate underlings. Having had no success (except in Holland, which doesn't count) our wise sage 'Just Jack' feels qualified to tell it like it is to us bunch of star struck hopefuls. Really? Oh, and that Z is unforgivable.
8.Adele- Chasing Pavements
Adele has a rubbish name. And horrible, I mean horrible, lyrics. She has been picked from obscurity and fashioned into a perfect amalgam of Kate Nash and Amy Winehouse with a touch of Beth Ditto (not too much Beth Ditto mind- cuddly is ok, fat is pushing it...) She is a record company creation- I mean, you don't think she came out like that fully formed do you? -that it's all just a huge coincidence? Adele is every bit as manufactured as Leon- except someone is trying to fool us into thinking she's not.
7.Scouting for girls- She's so lovely/Elvis ain't dead
Scouting for girls have a rubbish name. Look, it matters! Pretending it doesn't is like saying you don't judge people by the clothes they wear (you do)- or you didn't buy your Mac cause of how it looked (you did)- or you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover (oh shut up!) These songs only need one entry as they sound exactly the same. And they are both rubbish. My main complaint is the lazy lyrics. It's like- I've got my little scribble book here- with my cool lines written down. Classic lines like- 'Elvis isn't dead, I heard him on the radio' and 'I don't know how we make it through this'. Now. Lets squash them into unrelated songs and hope that nobody notices. I noticed the same tune holding seven shades of nonsense. You cannot be serious!
6 Lily Alan Oh my God
Enough. Enough now. Yup we all loved the first Live Lounge- that Arctic Monkeys cover of Girls Aloud really rocked. But it's all gone too far now- by far the worst is the travesty that is Bloc party's cover of Nelly Furtado's Say it right. listening to it is like watching your 67 year old Uncle Billy, totally smashed, toupe cock-eyed, a little bit of wee on his pants, zip down, chatting up a twenty five year old, as his wife and kids look on. Thankfully they didn't release it as a single, unlike this one from Lily Alan. I have nothing but respect for Lily Alan. She has a really innovative (and much copied- Yes I mean you Kate Nash!) style, wry clever lyrics, and great tunes. What possessed her to do this really horrible cover of the Kaiser Chiefs is anybodies guess. I think they offered her a chemical brother and baby and she said Done.
5 Kate Nash Foundations. Kate Nash is rubbish. Accept it. Move on. As Lily Alan is to the Kinks, Kate Nash is to Milli Vanilli.
4 Adele Hometown Glory
Ok here's another reason I don't like Adele- she has almost note for note ripped off another person's song. And everyone is raving about this song and I can't believe she's gotten away with it! It outrages me! The far superior song in question is Sia's Breath me, Compare them here and here
3 Mika- Big girls you are beautiful
Do I need to explain this one? No no no!! Who let this song out!!
2 Kate Nash Mouthwash.
I mean what happened to poetry, to metaphor? I've got a family and I drink cups of tea. Yeah yeah. I drank my tea, I had a wee. I get it. It's just not funny. This isn't actually the most annoying thing about this song, although it's right up there, the bit I hate is the completely meaningless refrain that pops in apropos of absolutely nothing. And I'm singing oh-oh on a Friday night, and I hope every thing's gonna be alright. Do you. Do you indeed Kate Nash. In this song, Kate claims that her 'tortuous analytical thoughts' make her brai-ai-ai ain go-o-o insane. HAHAHAHAHAHA
1 Standing in the way of Control The Gossip
Ok this song didn't actually come out this year, but it was re-released by popular demand apparently (bollocks), and it's been on the radio all cocking year. I just don't understand why everyone likes it. It's overrated turgid pop rock rubbish. She hasn't got a particularly engaging voice, it's got a bland tinny arrangement, and the only thing its got going for it is a catchy riff. And the album is unlistenable, which suggests that this is the very best thing they will ever do. Imagine!
8.Adele- Chasing Pavements
Adele has a rubbish name. And horrible, I mean horrible, lyrics. She has been picked from obscurity and fashioned into a perfect amalgam of Kate Nash and Amy Winehouse with a touch of Beth Ditto (not too much Beth Ditto mind- cuddly is ok, fat is pushing it...) She is a record company creation- I mean, you don't think she came out like that fully formed do you? -that it's all just a huge coincidence? Adele is every bit as manufactured as Leon- except someone is trying to fool us into thinking she's not.
7.Scouting for girls- She's so lovely/Elvis ain't dead
Scouting for girls have a rubbish name. Look, it matters! Pretending it doesn't is like saying you don't judge people by the clothes they wear (you do)- or you didn't buy your Mac cause of how it looked (you did)- or you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover (oh shut up!) These songs only need one entry as they sound exactly the same. And they are both rubbish. My main complaint is the lazy lyrics. It's like- I've got my little scribble book here- with my cool lines written down. Classic lines like- 'Elvis isn't dead, I heard him on the radio' and 'I don't know how we make it through this'. Now. Lets squash them into unrelated songs and hope that nobody notices. I noticed the same tune holding seven shades of nonsense. You cannot be serious!
6 Lily Alan Oh my God
Enough. Enough now. Yup we all loved the first Live Lounge- that Arctic Monkeys cover of Girls Aloud really rocked. But it's all gone too far now- by far the worst is the travesty that is Bloc party's cover of Nelly Furtado's Say it right. listening to it is like watching your 67 year old Uncle Billy, totally smashed, toupe cock-eyed, a little bit of wee on his pants, zip down, chatting up a twenty five year old, as his wife and kids look on. Thankfully they didn't release it as a single, unlike this one from Lily Alan. I have nothing but respect for Lily Alan. She has a really innovative (and much copied- Yes I mean you Kate Nash!) style, wry clever lyrics, and great tunes. What possessed her to do this really horrible cover of the Kaiser Chiefs is anybodies guess. I think they offered her a chemical brother and baby and she said Done.
5 Kate Nash Foundations. Kate Nash is rubbish. Accept it. Move on. As Lily Alan is to the Kinks, Kate Nash is to Milli Vanilli.
4 Adele Hometown Glory
Ok here's another reason I don't like Adele- she has almost note for note ripped off another person's song. And everyone is raving about this song and I can't believe she's gotten away with it! It outrages me! The far superior song in question is Sia's Breath me, Compare them here and here
3 Mika- Big girls you are beautiful
Do I need to explain this one? No no no!! Who let this song out!!
2 Kate Nash Mouthwash.
I mean what happened to poetry, to metaphor? I've got a family and I drink cups of tea. Yeah yeah. I drank my tea, I had a wee. I get it. It's just not funny. This isn't actually the most annoying thing about this song, although it's right up there, the bit I hate is the completely meaningless refrain that pops in apropos of absolutely nothing. And I'm singing oh-oh on a Friday night, and I hope every thing's gonna be alright. Do you. Do you indeed Kate Nash. In this song, Kate claims that her 'tortuous analytical thoughts' make her brai-ai-ai ain go-o-o insane. HAHAHAHAHAHA
1 Standing in the way of Control The Gossip
Ok this song didn't actually come out this year, but it was re-released by popular demand apparently (bollocks), and it's been on the radio all cocking year. I just don't understand why everyone likes it. It's overrated turgid pop rock rubbish. She hasn't got a particularly engaging voice, it's got a bland tinny arrangement, and the only thing its got going for it is a catchy riff. And the album is unlistenable, which suggests that this is the very best thing they will ever do. Imagine!
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